BREAKING: Bitcoin Goes Up, then Down; More Up and Down Likely

Funny Subhead that Makes it Clear this is a Joke

This just in, apparently Bitcoin went up due to some good news, but then down due to some FUD. Experts say more up and down likely.

What happened was W-exchange had X happen to it, right after BTC just hit a critical point. Then Y-country said “we might ban it,” and then the market dropped Z%. Then, out of nowhere at 4am it pumped, and shorts got rekt (this likely happened due to Sharia law).

However, it turns out that was just Wyckoff distribution. As, after a signal humpback whale with a robot took profits, the market crashed back down again (which makes sense with Chinese New Year only a little over a year away).

Luckily, a Bitcoin fork is doing a hard fork that doesn’t produce coins, so that is an easy Z% right there.

However, one should watch out for the drop, last thing you want to do is be holding the coin everyone is excited about when the event everyone is talking about actually happens (that is pure rat poison).

Overall, Bitcoin is expected to go to either $50k or zero as institutional investors enter the market, bringing some much needed stability to cryptocurrency (NOTE: $50k is 61.8% resistance and should result in a healthy bounce, according to some guy named Elliot, ***** if ***** it doesn’t go to zero instead; which is very unlikely unless something crazy happens like a raid on an exchange or a state tries to ban Bitcoin).

In the meantime, don’t forget to add up the dollar value of every cryptocurrency you did anything with since 2010 and pay the IRS an exact specific percentage of that based on an estimate of your income on a quarterly basis to avoid fees, audits, and jail time (please note that converting your crypto to cash to pay the IRS is a taxable event).

When in doubt, simply see the detailed official documentation, use the tools provided by the IRS or exchanges, or consult with your personal accountant you keep on payroll who studied how to convert those spreadsheets the exchanges spit out into something the IRS will accept.

TIP: For a balanced perspective, consider Warren Buffet thinks we are all crazy, but John McAfee predicts the dollar will lose so much value that Bitcoin will essentially be worth infinity.

NOTE: Please feel free to copy this article, put it up on Steemit, and not provide attribution. And remember, if your friends are trying to warn you it is a pyramid scheme, and that 100% returns in a month aren’t realistic, they want your business to fail and you should cut them out of your life.